"be happy and have a grateful heart"

When I heard her voice distantly through the phone, I have to admit, that elephant teardrops sprang into my eyes. Mostly happy tears, but still that clenching pang in my stomach. Its weird how you adjust to people, almost take them for granted. And then when they are not around, you realize how much you miss them. After I hung up the phone I felt happy that they get to be together for the holidays and I imagined them strolling through the quaint shops of downtown Chico, sporting their Christmasy hats and scarves, picking out just the right little Christmas gift for me. That was Monday morning. My tears were happy ones.

Monday night was the night after the first day of winter. I think that makes it the second shortest day of the year. It was dark early, and I could hear the raindrops on the roof of the restaurant. I busily waited on table after table, grateful for the consistent flow of work to keep my mind off the feeling in the air. When I paused for even a second, I was overwhelmed by the sensation of feeling the season.

On my way to work this morning I blew out a tire. The Haiku rain was so heavy I opted to wait in my car for it to pass before viewing the damage.

With optimism I headed through Paia and emerged out of the wetness. The sun warmed air of Kahului was comforting and I went about my work without any significant emotion. When I saw the trees outside my office window swaying in the wind, I got excited. I anticipated good wind and had a 2 hour session with the nicest wind I have felt in months.

On the water is when I decided that I wouldn't be sad. I wouldn't think about my friends gathering for dinner and drunken stupidity, immersed in the holiday season night life of Chico. I wouldn't imagine my little siblings racing to the couch to be the first to sit by me. Or tackling eachother to get into the car to have the seat clostest to me. Or my little tiny kindergarten sister making up her own songs to the tunes of my older brothers acoustic guitar. All thoughts of my grandparents amazing holiday cooking were going to vanish. I wouldn't be sad knowing that my friends were going to go ride horses together, like we do every year we get together for Christmas.

Despite all that I am missing these days, it was easy to look around and appreciate what I am not missing. A lot of people still dream of even visiting where I get to live. The water was warm, the wind was magnificent. I spent two hours soaking up the sun, and finally came in when it began to disappear behind the West Maui Mountains. Rocko and I spent some quality time together hunting crabs on the beach. I observed his mad dash to Kite Beach, and could share his excitement as he sprinted back to me. The grin on his face and his ears flying back in the wind was a sight worth paying money to see.



For some reason I feel patient today. The tropical rainstorm in Haiku didn't bother me, the traffic through town wasn't a problem, and spending an hour at safeway to buy just a couple of things was mellow. Everyone was in such a hurry and so busy. I patiently waited my turn in line and through a little bit of chaotic traffic, I found my way into the Haiku rain again, and back home.